Lucid Culture

JAZZ, CLASSICAL MUSIC AND THE ARTS IN NEW YORK CITY

CMJ Takes Over the Subway

In this dream, I was living in Bushwick (trust me, it will happen to all of us sooner or later) and had to go get a check that I needed to deposit before the bank closed. And it had just started to rain. And as always happens in a case like this, I had no umbrella. For some reason I was way over in a pre-Grand Street Houses era LES, south of Delancey, running through the tall grass in back of a couple of big barns as the drops turned practically to hail and the lightning began to strike all around. I almost got killed by a speeding cab as I sprinted across Delancey. So I went down into the subway station where there were a bunch of trendoids all over the place. Nothing strange about that, except that these trendoids were setting up a CMJ show. Or a whole bunch of CMJ shows. In fact, they’d taken over the entire Brooklyn-bound J/M/Z platform as well as the tracks themselves. Lazing around, smoking weed and taking their time setting up a makeshift stage on the tracks. Apparently they were using power from the third rail: I almost got electrocuted tripping over somebody’s big bright orange power cable.

I waited and waited. Finally after asking a bunch of fellow straphangers, I determined that the Brooklyn-bound trains had been rerouted over the F line (in reality, this would have sent me straight to Brooklyn Heights, but stranger things have happened in Dreamland). So I go down to the F and of course I’ve just missed a train. And have to wait another half-hour. By now it’s about 4 and there’s no way I’ll be able to get to Bushwick and then back in time before the bank closes (in a strange bit of verisimilitude, in the dream there are apparently no banks in Bushwick, just as in real life). Finally, enraged, I exited the station, hoping to have some luck with one of the buses going over the bridge. A trendoid passed me on Delancey. Threatening words are exchanged and suddenly I find myself in a kickboxing match.

Now kickboxing is one of those things I have never even remotely contemplated: I have less than zero interest in “extreme sports.” Yet somehow I found myself kicking the living hell out of this pathetic character. And then his dumpy friend had to get into the act. Which pushed me even further, so I had to kick his ass too. Meanwhile, of course, there was no bus.

So if you ever wonder why this site is a little less than friendly toward the unwashed, trust-funded, bedheaded masses, this is what I have to deal with in my dreams. Reality is another story entirely.

December 29, 2007 - Posted by | Rant

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