Lucid Culture


Why We Hate Trendoids, Pt. 2

Is it that they’re pawns for the scam developers who’re razing perfectly good buildings in working-class neighborhoods and replacing them with plastic-and-cardboard monstrosities that the people who live and work in those neighborhoods will never be able to afford? And that will raise rents in those neighborhoods to the point that the people who live there will have to move?

Is it that they stand in the middle of the sidewalk yakking on their cellphones and refuse to move for passersby? Is it their abysmal taste in music, their fondness for everything corporate (chain restaurants, reality tv, in other words, everything that’s big in the suburbs where they were born and raised), their hideous fashion sense or their sheer physical ugliness? No. It’s that trendoids are just plain GRODY.

Case in point: Brooklyn-bound L train, 8th Avenue, rush hour. At the back of the train so as to engineer a quick exit. A trendoid grabs the adjacent seat. Skintight jeans, black wool hat pulled down practically over his eyes, silly goggle glasses like the kind the Red Sox wore after they won the World Series and started spraying champagne all over each other. Pulls out a paperback on how to write, by Thomas Lynch (in case the name doesn’t ring a bell, he’s the “undertaker poet” that NPR loves so much, whose precious, effete style is everything a writer should AVOID EMULATING AT ALL COSTS). Trendoid then promptly sticks his fingers in his mouth, as if he’d just touched something hot on the stove.

Now one would assume that at some time or other in this kid’s life, his mom or his nanny or babysitter or older sibling/s might have told him that in a dirty city like New York, sticking your fingers in your mouth and sucking on them might not be such a good idea. Evidently not this guy.

It gets worse. A lot. Next, he starts picking his nose and eating it. And then he’s surprised – or he feigns surprise – when the passenger next to him flinches and huddles up against the wall of the subway car.

Why is it that the most disgusting creatures on the subway are NOT the bums, junkies or prostitutes? Why is it that it’s always the affluent, privileged white males, many of them in suits and ties, who’re always the ones throwing up, coughing and sneezing without covering their mouths and picking every available orifice?

February 18, 2008 - Posted by | Rant | , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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